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Posts by Shoshana Chanales

In My Story Of Parenting a Chronically Ill Child, I Choose To Be The Protagonist.

By Shoshana Chanales | March 20, 2018 | 0

Early in my teaching career before I had kids, I had a conference with a mother whose son was doing beautifully in my class. As I spoke, she cried — not eyes welled with pride, but real tears. “You don’t understand, he was a preemie. I just can’t believe he is doing so well,” she…

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thelayersproject

The Layers Project Magazine
I am SUPER excited for tonight's Layers Book event I am SUPER excited for tonight's Layers Book event at my home! Going to feature an incredible panel of women featured in the book: Lisa Barkan-Matitya Hadassa Cowland Goldberg Gabi Mischel Figdor Tamary Sladowsky Each has their own incredible and moving story, each with tremendous wisdom to share. The topic tonight will be "Centering Yourself in Uncertain Times." We will be talking about their stories, self-talk, resilience, and how to find the strength to keep going through the tough moments. Books will be for sale at a discounted rate <3 Still a few more hours to RSVP to receive the address and reserve a seat https://tinyurl.com/LayersRamot. 8 pm Can't wait.
“For much of my life, I didn’t understand what “For much of my life, I didn’t understand what it meant to be depressed. ⠀ ⠀ I thought it meant feeling down, feeling sad. I had never experienced the overwhelming depth of that kind of experience. ⠀ ⠀ I am a naturally sunny person. I love mornings, and a good song can always put me in a good mood. I thought that I could motivate myself out of any pain or sadness. ⠀ ⠀ Until I experienced pregnancy loss. ⠀ ⠀ When I lost my baby my whole entire energy shifted completely. ⠀ ⠀ I did my best to function but I felt broken. ⠀ ⠀ I felt like something was wrong with my body, that it didn’t work. It wasn’t able anymore to bring forth a baby into this world. ⠀ ⠀ Immediately after my loss, I needed time for my postpartum hormones to rebalance and for me to find my bearings again. ⠀ ⠀ The depression that I experienced changed me- I understand now the intense physicality of depression. ⠀ ⠀ I couldn’t be motivated out of it.⠀ ⠀ Sometimes when I couldn’t get out of bed, it was because the world felt too heavy to hold. ⠀ ⠀ Sometimes I couldn’t find the strength to move forward because I had never felt more tired. ⠀ ⠀ Sometimes I found that I was not interested in starting life again because I felt too numb. ⠀ ⠀ I felt a loss of the dream of that boy and the joy he was going to bring to our family. ⠀ ⠀ Even now when I watch my four older boys, I remember that they were going to have another brother, and I feel the gnawing emptiness of his absence. There was supposed to be another handsome, smart, kind young man running alongside them and I miss him. I think about the joy that we all would have shared with each other. ⠀ ⠀ Looking back, I can hold space for the grief of that loss and the loss of my fertility. ⠀ ⠀ I can hold space for the beautiful family and life that I adore. ⠀ ⠀ I can send love to that version of myself who was emptied by depression. ⠀ ⠀ I can tell her that it was real. ⠀ ⠀ I can tell her that she’s going to be OK no matter how deep her pain, and that she will find herself again. ⠀ ⠀ She may not believe it, but one day her strength, motivation, and interest in the world will resurface. ⠀ ⠀ She will feel good and she will feel joy-- again."⠀
Today is World Mental Health Day.⠀ ⠀ Taking "a Today is World Mental Health Day.⠀ ⠀ Taking "a mental health day" often means something about taking a break, a detaching, a regrouping. It's a more socially acceptable way to acknowledge the need to slow down.⠀ ⠀ We have this need every single day.  Slowing down doesn't mean stopping our lives, it means sensitizing our lives; to what's important, to what's human. ⠀ ⠀ Like physical health, mental health can humble us in ways that are uncomfortable. Mental health challenges can make us want to avoid the vulnerable truths of being imperfect, of needing help, of needing others. ⠀ ⠀ Something happens when we stop excepting ourselves as different and defective and start accepting ourselves as people in a process. ⠀ ⠀ When we speak about mental health needs as a priority, not an apology. ⠀ ⠀ When we make space for people to slowly unlearn ideas and stigmas about mental health that are hurting them and those around them. ⠀ ⠀ When we expand self-empowerment to include and honor the need for support and encouragement-- and that we as a community can all contribute to that.⠀ ⠀ A day like this is important because mental health is a continuum; there will be many points in any given life where a person will be struggling.  Challenging the shame and normalizing mental health can make our community not only healthier but a space where people feel comfortable. ⠀ ⠀ We can support our collective and individual healing journeys-- those we know about and those we'll never know. ⠀ ⠀ We can continue talking about it in larger and smaller conversations. ⠀ ⠀ These are more than stories.⠀ ⠀ These are lives.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ #thelayersprojectmagazine #thelayersproject #worldmentalhealthday #contiuum #mentalhealth #mentalillness #support #encouragment #priorities #journey #healing #nomoreshame
Do you ever feel like there are two versions of yo Do you ever feel like there are two versions of yourself? ⠀ ⠀ The one that the world gets to see and the one that lives alone in your own head? ⠀ ⠀ Sometimes I think about the bits of me that people don’t know- the parts that no one can ever know.⠀ ⠀ Because even in the most authentic storytelling, there are inevitably chapters that we choose not to share. ⠀ ⠀ No matter how much we tell, how many words we write, how long we communicate— we are all so multifaceted- so complex- so human- that there is no way to convey the entirety of who we are. ⠀ ⠀ Telling your personal story isn’t about sharing every spark of your soul. ⠀ ⠀ Every worry.⠀ ⠀ Every joy. ⠀ ⠀ It’s about deciding whats safe and healthy to share.⠀ ⠀ What parts will be healing to you to put put into the world. ⠀ ⠀ Maybe even which bits will be healing for others to hear, too. ⠀ ⠀ When it comes to telling your story, at the end of the day, it’s important to remember: ⠀ ⠀ No one can demand all the details of your life. ⠀ ⠀ You deserve to keep the private stuff to yourself. ⠀ ⠀ Life isn’t an “ask-me-anything.” ⠀ ⠀ Some things are just #nonnayabuziness. ⠀ ⠀ #Thelayersproject #thelayersprojectmagazine #jewishwomen #storytelling #askmeanything #private #duality #story #personalnarrative #memoir #authentic ⠀ ⠀ 📸 by @tzipora.il
Shemini Atzeret: The "8th Day of Assembly" After Shemini Atzeret: The "8th Day of Assembly" After a year and a half of a world pandemic, of literal and emotional quarantine, the concept of assembly has more significance and vitality. Throughout Jewish history we have started over again and again- in new lands, new cultures, new regimes. Our ability to create and recreate community is a badge of honor; our commitment to tradition and ritual a deep source of pride. Standing together at a time when many don't know where they stand, when there is so much rupture, when there is so much fragility and unpredictability-- and be able to rejoice as a group is a tall and beautiful order. With inspiration from High Holidays, a chapter of reflection and return, we hope that we assemble with renewed joy and purpose. We'll soon hit the yearly time stamp called "After the Chagim," when we start moving faster. We'll soon disperse until Chanukah, Purim, and then Pesach- when we will sit again and celebrate and commemorate more stories of survival. Now, amidst the assembly and festivities can be an opportunity for what is a root word of Atzeret- to stop, to tarry. We can pause, look around and within. We can ask what we can assemble together. How we can connect. How we can correct. How we can create more spaces of joy. At Layers, we ask ourselves these questions and are led by them. We are driven by hope that despite our struggles- or perhaps in defiance of them- we can grow. We can grow as a community, as a people, and as a world learning how to recreate. -Rachel Hercman, LCSW @rachelhercman 📸: @hedvandanphotography #chagsameach #succot #sheminiatzeret #simchattorah #simchastorah #jewishcommunity #jewishunity
This last year we learned about the fragility of l This last year we learned about the fragility of life. ⠀ ⠀ Which reminded me that Sukkot is the holiday of being vulnerable. ⠀ ⠀ The pitom of the etrog is always at risk of falling off. ⠀ ⠀ The schach may blow away from strong winds. ⠀ ⠀ The cold, rain, or heat depending on your climate affects the comfort in the sukkah. ⠀ ⠀ The leaves of the lulav need to be carefully tended to so they don’t wilt before we are finished with them. ⠀ ⠀ And yet- we balance the fragility of it all because of faith demands it of us. ⠀ ⠀ We open ourselves up to God and trust that he will shelter us. ⠀ ⠀ I pray that this year we receive blessings from our Sukkot. ⠀ ⠀ I pray for a protected and healthy year for us all. ⠀ ⠀ #Thelayersproject #thelayersprojectmagazine #jewishwomen #sukkot #vulnerability #vulnerable #open #fragile #fragility #lulav #etrog #jewishfamilies
Dear Me, ⠀ ⠀ Tomorrow is Yom Kippur and there Dear Me, ⠀ ⠀ Tomorrow is Yom Kippur and there are things that I need to say.⠀ ⠀ First, I want to apologize. ⠀ ⠀ I am sorry for the times when I was too harsh with you; when I said cruel things and made you feel worse. ⠀ ⠀ I am sorry for the opportunities I shut down before they began; because I let my fear get in the way. ⠀ ⠀ I am sorry for the old bad habits that I let linger; because I felt too stuck to let them go. ⠀ ⠀ I am sorry for sometimes not giving you enough time to rest; when I knew you were exhausted. ⠀ ⠀ I am sorry for the boundaries I should have made; the times I should have said no when I said yes. ⠀ ⠀ I am sorry for the moments that I didn’t stick up for you; and the moments I held my tongue when I should have said more. ⠀ ⠀ I am sorry for the times I said too much; I should have kept my thoughts to myself. ⠀ ⠀ And I wanted to thank you--⠀ ⠀ For the kind things that you did say. ⠀ ⠀ For the opportunities that you took. ⠀ ⠀ For the habits you broke.⠀ ⠀ For the rest you got. ⠀ ⠀ For the boundaries you made. ⠀ ⠀ For the advocacy you put forth and the moments you chose to stay wisely silent. ⠀ ⠀ For all the ways you considered what it meant to be living.⠀ ⠀ For the deep breaths and deeper dreams. ⠀ ⠀ For the joy and the patience through the pain. ⠀ ⠀ For being ready to enter a new year- with a clean slate. ⠀ ⠀ So we can live all over again. ⠀ ⠀ With love,⠀ ⠀ Shira ⠀ ⠀ #Thelayersproject #thelayersprojectmagazine #jewishwomen #selflove #selfcompassion #yomkippur #forgive #forgiveness #atonement #kindness #boundaries #selfcare #rest #thanks #gratitude @shiralankinsheps
It is so hard to look at those photos.⠀ ⠀ To r It is so hard to look at those photos.⠀ ⠀ To read the transcripts of those 911 calls and the stories of loss and survival. ⠀ ⠀ Those days are so clear in my mind; the endless news watching, the waiting for my father to call and tell us he was OK. Checking in on neighbors and friends. Stories of miracles. Making sure that everyone had survived when so many did not. ⠀ ⠀ We honor the memory of all who were murdered that day; victims of terrorism and heroes who ran to save them.⠀ ⠀ I know so many who have suffered these last twenty years; from grief, from cancer; from trauma. ⠀ ⠀ From shattered world views. ⠀ ⠀ I can’t believe twenty years have passed. It still feels so raw and painful. ⠀ ⠀ Now I choose to hold on to what we hope we held onto then. ⠀ ⠀ That people inherently good. ⠀ ⠀ That evil can be rooted out from this world by kindness.⠀ ⠀ That love can win out over hatred. ⠀ ⠀ 9/11. A day that we will never forget. ⠀ ⠀ 📸 Joe Sohm/Visions of America/Universal Images Group/Getty Images⠀ ⠀ #thelayersproject #thelayersprojectmagazine #911 #912 #weremember #heros #terrorism #victimsofterror ⠀
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