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Posts by Shoshana Chanales

In My Story Of Parenting a Chronically Ill Child, I Choose To Be The Protagonist.

By Shoshana Chanales | March 20, 2018 | 0

Early in my teaching career before I had kids, I had a conference with a mother whose son was doing beautifully in my class. As I spoke, she cried — not eyes welled with pride, but real tears. “You don’t understand, he was a preemie. I just can’t believe he is doing so well,” she…

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thelayersproject

The Layers Project Magazine
You've probably seen the news about Simone Biles. You've probably seen the news about Simone Biles. You've read the comments. You've heard the judgement. Even though you're far from Tokyo, the story may hit home for your own story of mental health. You may not be an Olympic gymnast but maybe you know what it means to twist yourself into showing up for life. Maybe you know what it feels like to tumble in dizzying circles, not knowing which direction you're heading. Maybe you know what it feels like to lose your balance and not know if or how you will land safely on your feet. Mental health struggles may be invisible to others, obscured by assumptions, disguises, and accomplishments that may mask pain below. But it's there, even behind the smiles and convincing "I'm fine's." We've witnessed someone let the world in on this, a visible representation of a quiet reality that so many live with and wrestle with on a regular basis. That she faces intense criticism for taking care of herself speaks to continued stigma, misunderstanding, and toxicity on social media that is pervasive today. When a notable person shares about mental illness, the story can become akin to a Rorschach test revealing what people think about mental health, vulnerability, and imperfection. You learn what people see when they see mental health struggle, and you may wonder what they'd see and say if they saw yours. Simone Biles is teaching the world that mental health matters more than medals. That we are more than machines defined by what we deliver, that perseverance isn't all about product. "..At the end of the day we’re human, too," she said. “So, we have to protect our mind and our body, rather than just go out there and do what the world wants us to do.” Simone Biles will certainly be remembered for this Olympic appearance. Though it's not what people wanted, perhaps it's what many people need right now. A reminder that just because other people can’t see our pain doesn’t mean we can’t feel it. That no one is perfect. That we have to be our own advocates. That having limits is a fact, not a failure. That we still have work to do in the way our world relates to health struggles. We're working on it. We see you.
Tonight we will be participating in an amazing eve Tonight we will be participating in an amazing event run by Svivah featuring three of the incredible women featured in our book, “Layers; Personal Narratives of Struggle, Resilience, and Growth From Jewish Women.” We get to meet Michal who will talk about "owning your story" -- watching your story unfold in ways you wouldn't have chosen, but putting yourself back in the narrative, figuring out "what to pray for next." Shara, who shares the importance of being open about an experience that others might not understand, "sharing your story" both to help yourself and to help others in similar situations, to share a story so others can learn how to show up - for themselves, for others, for you. Rebecca, whose powerful narrative highlights the values in "letting go of your story"-- letting go and turning your story into a pathway to connection. These incredible women will share their own stories and remind us to look at our own lives -- and the stories we've lived -- as moments of empowerment, connection, inspiration. With the month of Elul around the bend, we'll have a chance to reflect back on the year behind us and the stories it held. Join us. Thursday 7/29 @ 12:30-1:30pm EST RSVP for Zoom link @ www.svivah.org/happenings
Over the last few days, I have read hundreds of st Over the last few days, I have read hundreds of stories featuring the #myorthodoxlife hashtag in response to Netlix’s new reality series #myunorthodoxlife. What I have learned from the four and half years of telling the stories of Jewish women is that life has space to hold the blessings and the challenges. That nothing is perfect or simple. Everyone has a story and life is complex. No one lives a pollyannaish existence. Beautiful, holy lives can be hard. Painful lives can retain beauty. I think balanced and nuanced stories are the most powerful. They also can be the most interesting. Many say that the reason that Hollywood and the media love to put out stories of people who have rejected the frum lifestyle is because it's dramatic. That the life of a happy religious Jew wouldn’t sell and it's not what the audiences want. In my experience of telling the stories of average people living extraordinarily, I can attest to the fact that life holds powerful drama, though not always the toxic kind made for TV. I’m talking about suffering and resilience. Growth and setbacks. Anger and love. Conflict and forgiveness. Complex inner worlds that reflect on what it truly means to be human. One way to convey humanity is to elevate our level of expression. There are so many mediums to create art; photographs, writing, music, theatre, books, films, poetry, spoken words. Art transcends community because it speaks a universal language of the heart. Art can showcase new perspectives through fresh eyes. Art can reveal ancient truths. Art can move us, and make us think and feel and understand deeper. Art can change us, teach us, carry us. So pick a medium and tell a story. In that way, the world can see who we really are. 📸 by the artist, @tzipora.il #thelayersproject #thelayersprojectmagazine #jewishauthor #jewishartists #art #stories #truth #jewishwomen
"Down⠀ narrow⠀ straits⠀ we⠀ stumble⠀ ove "Down⠀ narrow⠀ straits⠀ we⠀ stumble⠀ over⠀ embers⠀ between⠀ two⠀ houses.⠀ ⠀ One long gone,⠀ a shadow memory⠀ swimming in⠀ our DNA.⠀ The other⠀ a sacred promise⠀ of what’s⠀ to come.⠀ (Watch this space.)⠀ ⠀ We⠀ hobble⠀ down⠀ this⠀ broken⠀ road,⠀ tear-blinded⠀ between⠀ two⠀ sorrows.⠀ ⠀ For fallen walls,⠀ and the ruin of a palace⠀ where we⠀ met with G-d⠀ and prayed.⠀ Summer breezes⠀ billow our shrouds,⠀ ashes gathering⠀ at the hem.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ We⠀ stop⠀ along⠀ the⠀ tapered⠀ path⠀ to⠀ rest⠀ between⠀ two⠀ visions.⠀ ⠀ One desperate,⠀ the other divine.⠀ Our eyes flit between⠀ the clock⠀ and the gate,⠀ waiting,⠀ still waiting⠀ for the dawdling⠀ builder to show.⠀ ⠀ Across⠀ this⠀ narrow⠀ swath⠀ we⠀ travel⠀ between⠀ two⠀ deserts.⠀ ⠀ Once, we stood⠀ b’lev echad⠀ at the foot of⠀ G-d’s mountain.⠀ Now we suffer⠀ a manmade drought of love.⠀ Yet all the while,⠀ we pray for rain and⠀ redemption,⠀ for our broken pieces⠀ to pile up and⠀ make us whole."⠀ ⠀ "Across a Bridge of Weeks" written by Merri Ukraincik.⠀ ⠀ #Thelayersproject #thelayersprojectmagazine #jewishwomen #threeweeks #ninedays #tishabaav
(3/6) “Hospital Stay”⠀ ⠀ “We ended up dr (3/6) “Hospital Stay”⠀ ⠀ “We ended up driving to the women’s emergency ward at Assuta Ashdod, a hospital that is closer to where we live, where their doctor confirmed the diagnosis. Women’s ovaries are typically three centimeters in diameter, but mine had grown to 10 centimeters in diameter. I was immediately admitted to the women’s emergency ward, hooked up to an IV, and began one of the longest weeks of my life. ⠀ ⠀ Aside from enlarged ovaries, more serious cases of OHSS result in “vascular hyperpermeability,” which means that the local capillaries inside my body could not contain the fluids within them. As a result, these fluids leaked into what’s known as the “third space,” which is the abdominal and pleural cavity. Due to this fluid leak, I gained over 20 pounds of pure water weight in six days that accumulated in my stomach and hips. ⠀ ⠀ Unfortunately, they told me there wasn’t much to do about OHSS; you just need to let it run its course and wait for your body to reabsorb the fluid so you can eliminate it by going to the bathroom. The hospital admitted me to monitor my progress (or lack thereof), control my fluid intake so they could measure my input and output, and get more involved if my symptoms got to a dangerous level. Every day, I was only allowed to drink one liter of liquid (both food and drink), while the nurses administered two liters of fluids through an IV. Then I would need to go to the bathroom into a bucket, which would be measured every morning to tell the doctors how much of the fluid came out of my system. At the worst of it, after consuming three liters of fluid, my day’s output was a third of a liter. The rest of the fluid was in my abdominal cavity, waiting to get reabsorbed.⠀ ⠀ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ⠀ ⠀ The worst part of the entire hospital stay was that the entire time, I had no idea whether or not I was pregnant. Every day I would get my blood taken, and when the doctors would do their morning rounds, I would ask the same question: “Am I pregnant?” ⠀ ⠀ They would always answer the same way: they couldn’t say for certain and that they would hopefully have an answer in a few days. ⠀ ⠀ The wait felt like an eternity.”⠀ ⠀ link in bio for post
1/6 “Unexplained Infertility” “It was the 1/6 “Unexplained Infertility” “It was the day before Thanksgiving. I remember because I took the day as a good omen. That was the day I went in for my first IVF transfer, where a healthy embryo that was made in the clinic just a few days earlier was implanted back in my uterus. Almost two years after my husband and I first started trying for a baby. I have what’s known as “unexplained infertility,” which means that neither my husband nor I had any underlying medical conditions that were preventing us from getting pregnant. Every month, we were told how amazing everything looked, even getting the comment that my body was having “textbook” responses to our treatment. After countless blood draws, ultrasounds, self-administered injections, seven rounds of IUI, and tear-filled days and nights filled with hope and despair, we were finally able to do IVF. When I went to do the transfer, I was filled with hope and nervousness. I was so grateful to see the amazing doctor who had helped us throughout the entire process. Although he does not identify as observant, I was moved that he said a bracha (blessing) during the embryo insertion procedure. It was such a powerful moment, and I said my own silent prayer that this would be it and that this would end my nightmare of infertility. Afterwards, my husband and I tried to make the rest of the day nice, taking the day off of work, going out for a nice brunch, and relaxing at home. We were having three girls from a gap-year program staying by us that weekend and were excited to have a Thanksgiving-themed Shabbat meal with friends of ours in the community who were also hosting teens from the same program. We went into that month’s two-week wait just like any other, hopeful but trying to distract ourselves from thinking about our situation too much. Until that Shabbat morning, when something didn’t feel right.” #thelayersproject #thelayersprojectmagazine #infertility #ivf #ivfjourney #ivfwarrior #embryo #jewishwomen #hope #resilience
Really honored to offer a brand new profile starti Really honored to offer a brand new profile starting today- on The Layers Project Magazine!⠀ ⠀ Meet Danielle.⠀ ⠀ We will be sharing her story, "Embracing Surrender: My Experience With OHSS"-- a narrative about infertility, IVF, and Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. ⠀ ⠀ I was so inspired to hear Danielle share with me about her resilience and her hopes.⠀ ⠀ I learned so much about the experience that she shares.⠀ ⠀ So glad we are back-- can't wait to share this story with you. ⠀ ⠀ #Thelayersproject #thelayersprojectmagazine #jewishwomen #ivf #infertility #ohss #hope #resilience #newprofile
The Layers Book is now available in the UK and in The Layers Book is now available in the UK and in Europe. Pre-orders have been sent out! If you got friends and family in the UK and Europe and you think they might love this book- share this post with them and give them 10% off their order with code LAYERS10 on the Koren Publishers Jerusalem website. Link to purchase in the bio. #thelayersproject #layersbook #availablenow #uk #europe #bookstagram #jewishwomen #resilience #inspire #connect #share #stories
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The Layers Project Magazine is an online media source for in-depth insights into the lives of Jewish women. We seek to combat the removal of images of women from Jewish media and hope to continue sharing in the challenges and triumphs of being a Jewish woman.

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